You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
