I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
