does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
