Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
