Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
