we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
