how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize