I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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