Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize