i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize