whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
