I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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