i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
