We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
