So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
