it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
