sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
