Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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