There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
oh god was she eating orange peels again
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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