No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
