is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
