Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize