The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
