Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
