i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you will always have a special place in my vag
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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