That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
