So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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