wat bout pragnant strippers??
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
sex in a hospital.. check
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
