when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
