Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
