Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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