Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
