At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
