Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize