Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
