they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
