oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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