then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
