I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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