I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
