So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
