You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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