Porn is love you can see.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
