Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
