I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize