yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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