It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
