CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
