I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
