Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
