Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
