talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
