I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
