Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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