R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
