You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
