at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize