dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
