Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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