Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
